J
e
s
u
s
what a Beautiful Name.
what a Beautiful Name.
Son of God, Son of Man
Lamb that was slain
caron xu jiahui
bethesda bedok-tampines church; Youth Church
gongshang.ahs.vjc
NUS Nursing
Lamb that was slain
i love the king and he loves me.
-
caron xu jiahui
bethesda bedok-tampines church; Youth Church
gongshang.ahs.vjc
NUS Nursing
"For i have plans for you,"
declares the Lord,
"plans to prosper you
and not to harm you,
plans to give you a hope and a future."
-Jeremiah 28
joy and peace, strength and hope
grace that blows all fear away.
HAIYUH!i baked cookies myself.xue had to do notice board..so irritatin..everytime pung seh me huh..-grunts,.ohs nvm..so fun.but tiring.n i haven bathe..later gotta go ch..whoo!!!
ahhs!!! all i want is you..this song rocks!!!!
yay..the making of the cookiex are done!! and the last one made for mumi broke..so irritating..shuld haf put more butter so it wun stick to e tray. rahaas. open up the gates..feelin so mad now.heehee.
rooowwlll!! im a lion! rahaas.
gonna bathe soon..den i do my cell hmwk..the bk..den do maths den go church.bathe dat time mux wash my shoe..-grumps.wash n eat the shoe.got socks oso..yucK! they stink.n my shoes dono how mani mths nv wash.heehee.im revealing my dirty business.hahs.-grunt
oh.my sis is back.oh no!gonna mk noise.n disturb me..my dad juz calld me caron caron..n they bought food for me..n they brought back fish..so irritating.fish are kinda stupid..hah.hamsters rock! whoo..baby baby..where r u?-find baby.
haiyo.rach is irritating..put e plastic bag of nuts inside..n i told her not to open e cage!!sigh.y doesn she ever listen? okies..go bathe n wash everyting.
-runters off.my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.
whoo hoos! i finally tok to gini online!! its such an endearing moment!! and gini is not db!! huh!! she is not!!!! she is my veri gd close n bc pal n budi! my bc 1..always will..huh! raas. im supp to blogg..but tokin to gini n tutor now..haha..so crap..lafs
haiyuh.everyone is offline.huhs.nvm.i shall tok to myself.hais..wad happen to lene? so quiet n like..dono..was bs..n now worried..haiyah.mayb pmsin..dun wanna disturb her...she oso scary leh.but i love her still.
yay!! bakin cookies tmr in e morn. hip hips! with xueli..hahs.my dear girl.my second baking experience wif my guides companion.juz msgd her ask her wad time n where she wan meet. huhs. chem test was ok..dono if i will do well..n god.-beams.i was nicer to my sis den usual today.thankew god.:)
last nite study n fell aslp wif e lite n agn....irritating.n woke up at 4+..one of my earliest sia..n i slept agn.so iritated lor.haiyuhs.xue faster reply.*yawns
im hot!! ok i shall go off nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
-scootsmy heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.
she stood there, solitary and still. her face resembled snow, so white so pure, a tinge of pink illuminating her cheeks. eyes, once warm and full of life, now resided in the dark depths, cold and frozen, as if all hope and dreams were lost forever they were silent and still, those blue eyes of hers, filled with sadness, and held a glazed dreamless stare. her hair seemed to flicker blond, gold, then white, streamed down her neck, her head held high and steady. she seemed to have turned to ice, her mouth set in a firm yet expressionless manner, her lips gentle. the ice queen, they called her, her beauty no one could express. the warmth and cheerfulness, her smile that once lit the darkness, had long faded away. lost in her world, where the sun din seem to shine...
whoos.that was a character description..hahs..lene n gini wrote bout guy..gini..her dream guy dat wud neva appear..hahass..and i was so bc today..did alot of goondu faces..hahas..i stuck my tongue out...and gini n lene n sirong n abi started lafin..lurvin too..den larre so irritating..he dun like me lor..mk me clean e window.i clean abit den go off liao..huh!n i kept screamin n mkin noises..hahas..went bit siao la.hahs.coz the twin effect the girl kept screaming..rahaas.e stickin of tongue reminded me of rach..so irritatin..n they lafed.and i gave gini a widddddeeee smile which made her laf.hahas..im so bc lor.and lene went mad..she kept singin n tokin nonsense..hahas..which kept makin me laf..hahas..n we screamed in diff pitches..low and high pitch.whoos!rahaas.
just ate my dinner..had beef..i become a cow n go moooooooooooooooooo..hees.no..ms lee is a cow..remb last yr made a song bout her the cow usin sarvivor rap..hahas..so goon la..-griins-
ok..im gonna haf excretion carried out.
-scoots away
my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.
whoos.my sister is soo irritating!
haiyuh! i need the patience man! how irritating is that.im eating ham jing peng which is like a curry puff.*shuckx.must stop eating..hai~
and got caught in the rain..was so wet.hmmph! din bring umbrella..auryhkjnbmnxciuhlwaa lah. tmr ss test..supp to be studying? haiya. later..im so slack.
and gini lene n i are gonna cut our hair on mon aftrnn.yay!! hahas..my hse opp..whee..but dono tues or mon..n we wrote a story.hahas..v crap sia..haiya..its in my bag.laxy to tk out.huhs!
found that mi n lene got alot of names..
she is my:
*fairy godmother
*personal assistant (PA)
*chee (i m ni..toget we r nichee!!)
*hong (im lau..toget we r lauhong!!)
*my dearest old woman
*lene
*roll-on knight comrade
whoooooooooooooooooooo~ hahs..roll-on knights..we played table tennis durin pe today..den e table brand is calld roll-on..hahas..so we calld ourselves e roll0-on knoigths! and we beat sirong n abi in our game!! rahaas. we r so pro..hahas.ure rite.we were so spastic n bc dat yuyang was lafin..n our ball flew out twice n had to go n pick it up. lene was crawlin on e grn alot of times to tk e ball-lafs..hehes..
yay!! n im so excited!! nt sat anniversary for ymc3 our bands r performing!! cradle of faith n flawed..-clap hands n jump 4 joy- gini n lene cumin..n i found out got dis guy in skoo dat looks like timmo..hhaas..
huh!-spastic face. betta go study..rachel is whining now..wish dad wud ask her shuddap! n punch her face.ok im sori god.
haiyuhs*uhsfjrl,mniluhrfnls
whoos.my sister is soo irritating!
haiyuh! i need the patience man! how irritating is that.im eating ham jing peng which is like a curry puff.*shuckx.must stop eating..hai~
and got caught in the rain..was so wet.hmmph! din bring umbrella..auryhkjnbmnxciuhlwaa lah. tmr ss test..supp to be studying? haiya. later..im so slack.
and gini lene n i are gonna cut our hair on mon aftrnn.yay!! hahas..my hse opp..whee..but dono tues or mon..n we wrote a story.hahas..v crap sia..haiya..its in my bag.laxy to tk out.huhs!
found that mi n lene got alot of names..
she is my:
*fairy godmother
*personal assistant (PA)
*chee (i m ni..toget we r nichee!!)
*hong (im lau..toget we r lauhong!!)
*my dearest old woman
*lene
*roll-on knight comrade
whoooooooooooooooooooo~ hahs..roll-on knights..we played table tennis durin pe today..den e table brand is calld roll-on..hahas..so we calld ourselves e roll0-on knoigths! and we beat sirong n abi in our game!! rahaas. we r so pro..hahas.ure rite.we were so spastic n bc dat yuyang was lafin..n our ball flew out twice n had to go n pick it up. lene was crawlin on e grn alot of times to tk e ball-lafs..hehes..
yay!! n im so excited!! nt sat anniversary for ymc3 our bands r performing!! cradle of faith n flawed..-clap hands n jump 4 joy- gini n lene cumin..n i found out got dis guy in skoo dat looks like timmo..hhaas..
huh!-spastic face. betta go study..rachel is whining now..wish dad wud ask her shuddap! n punch her face.ok im sori god.
haiyuhs*uhsfjrl,mniluhrfnlsmy heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.
*sniff
haiyah.im so lazy to type liao.
gonna update quite lag now..sad lah.
wells..typed my guides proposal so hahas..go online..quite fun to type lah..hahas.
sucks..this week got 3 tests..and all i suck one..ss on thurs, amths on fri and chem too. crazy lah.
huhs.im hungry..oh yest was fun..we got caught in the jam in chc basement..liew it was so hot n we started telling jokes..hahs..den we finally went in.so glad our church not so big..hahs..quite good la e service..wells..tongues..gods gift..shuldn focus so much on it though..well god pls grant me the spirit of discernment..
den mumi treated us..stef, gini n me to mos..yay..hahs.tutor had to pay himself..well then we took 30..wah shiok..e bus ride was so long..whoo!
hah.
ok i nothiing to say..just ok..feelin fine..cried yest..oso dono y..partly coz i read the story in max lucado "he chose the nails"..so touching..n listend to "superman" alot alot of times..so nice..:)
-blank face-my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.
oh.im at church..using the com here..been like so long.
hai aniway everytime i type a blog always v short time one lor. areadi 810..815 nd to go down.*shuckx
gor went brunei yest..sent him off at the airport..he left us at 12 plus..rach cried..i almost..lin had tears..mum too. im so irritated wif myself..he wan borrow discman fm me..den i give him..thot its aa batt..coz he din wan use my rechargable one..den told him aa can oso..when act oni e recharchable can.wah liew. he was irritated.n i m too.like why din i check it earlier? *roll eyes
n i dono..y do i bother bout ppl..when like dey dun seem to even care? like im so nice n everyting but deep down..im tryin to b nice but bs..god are u telin me sumting? lene told me to not even go with them..n iwas..i dono..i treasure frenship too much i guess..but im just glad i still haf my real buds wif me..gini charlene mummy..i reali thank god for u guys..n love u lots..hafg always been there for me..n i reali appreciate it.-beams
hai..n hui yuan is so stressed..yest went out for e 3 aim ting..wanto reach out to her..she said she understand but wasn ready e last time durin kaa ho naa ho..wellx.
*shuckx its 815..hai~ was feelin fine e other day..now my temper seems to b short..n ..raas. i love you lord jesus.
my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.
mum is getting on my nerves. i do the stuff she dowan let me go online..wad is dis.ask me to off.one more time i juz pull e thing.my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.
ruhhs. blog is gettin on my nerves..i type one super long one n it disappeared..
aniway..
*screams* i got breakout on my hands,arms,legs n ankles..wah liew..they r like small moquito bites but super itchy..and i was studyin chi test last nite n it was soo itchy.hai..more came out. xue says they r sand fly bites..stupid. sirong..is so iriitating..he says they r nice.sadist lah.n he got highest for lit.23/25..i thank god..i got 20!! so hapi..like my lit not gd one..n i did well for dis..thankew god..n sirong is known as sarong the spider..bcoz a spider fm the window sill where he leans his head on bit into his head. and he spins sarong..hahas..so crap.
haiyuhs.nt week so jkhfddddnx..got 3 test..n all i suck one..thurs is ss..structured sumore..liew..den fri got chem? crazy n amaths..two horrible *i suck most at* on the same day..how nice..n todays chi test i study like so hard..n they come out sec 2 stuff..n chp 30..when we were told to study 25,26,27..sucks lah..n im reali detestin n loathing mr choo.its like he doesn even care?-frustrated
but i reali thank god..n m quite stress free..at peace..so glad!!*smiles..but last nite was horrible..was itchin all over n slpet at 1+ 2..had nitemare..din slp well n my nose was blocked..hahs.thank god i still went mad today..hahas..the sarong story..and dai han is known as lady's fingers..hahas.
yay!! n today was my first attempt of baking cookies!! n i succeeded! yay..gonna bring n let everyone try..but quite little..huh! i improvised e recipe vcoz of lack of ingredients..hahs.im smart!-grins
n i wrote another song..calld drive me..liew just now type so nice lor..den gone..hai.cant type now.irritating.huhs! ohs.ya.tutor..ur help is urgently needed on sun..coz i told god i wun fail another test..dowan lor..n i cant afford.+X
raas.im hot.sweating sia..oh ya..got li jie wen da..betta go do now..huhs!
-scurries off
*:.you'd catch a falling star if i asked you
i l o v e y o u j e s u smy heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.
*gosh! its so late..mum slpin..dad watchin tv.
yay.studied finish chi..tmr test.scared..but im determind to well well for dis test.i noe i will..coz i haf studied..juz hope i dun forget everyyting. well..thank god i did ok for maths test..though not v well..18/30..still ok lah..nt test must try haredr..i will.god sees my effort.yay!
i love evrything about you
everyting u r..
u'd catch a falling star if i askd you*:.
i coudn live a single day without u
u hold me in ur arms
n once agn i noe dat im e only one for u
dis song by darlene rocks..i love you more n more each day.
no matter hot tryin life may be..i will do my best for u O LOrd..
hmmphs. ok its late..betta get gpin..later mum wake up i die di..
k muackx..love you jesus..
*:.my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.
liew..at first using peacefully now she tokin agn. hai~
becoz of dat stupid ting quarrel wif u..worth it or not worth it or not.
wah liew.shuddap lah.
"children obey ur parents for it pleases the Lord."
okok..i type dis den i go..
aniway had my emaths test today..hai..studied abit..but duno if will do well..may god pull me thru it. read "he chose the nails" by max lucado..n tink it is so wonderful. jesus bore my sin..e crown of thorns..*symbolizes our sin* and bore the spit..n died for me.he cud turn stone into bread, with a waze of his hand destroy the soldiers who spit at him. just a word n angels wud lift him fm the cross. yet he didn..n the most wonderful ting dat happened...
he did it for you.
dun u tink its so so so wonderful.u can just sit there n tink of it..the beauty n greatness of gods great love n mercy for us.i tink its so so..-awed-
n was strugglin maths n chem..but understand more now..*yays* n pushin myself on to do everytin for god.to do it all for him..coz he died for me..n he loves me.n..ya..gonna do well in everyting.i ll try.
gini told me hillsongs cumin her church dis sat n sun..i wan to go!! 2-4..got morn oso..but got church.ey..nobody like goin..all dono one..or cant..wad is dis lor..den dono if lene goin not..she like..i dono..went mad abit dis morn..den she bcame v solemn..hai~ n i tink im driftin away fm her..-sigh- dono if she got tuition..den she dowan go..raas.
studied for mi chi di.but not thorough..juz brief..least i studied..n did my maths..but dono some..askd stef di mrs wee tuition..askin mum now..hope can..but dono e place..haiyuh.n bit ex? well..
ohs.dad bought a car..mitsubishi lancer ix or smthg lidat..quite nice sia..suspension quite low ut doesn look low..comfy..n yay! got cd player.liew..dads proton..now one ah is like tape one lah.super antique..n bargain fm $25500 to $24600..yay..but still not enuf he borrow fm uncle george..oh wells.friday latest collect e car. yarr...n i made my i/c today..so horrible my foto..im so not fotogenic lah.wad is dis.huh!! -grumps
n i m a lil sick..but thank god..im not dat sick..hahs.n i clowly gettin back my voice..yay!! hahs.
raas..tmr another day of skool..n studyin..uh huh..n i will love u more jesus. he is so faithful..ah.wad a wonderful god!
n i ve designd e cell t shirt design..yay!! quite nice..ting dowan black..so i shall make it orange!! coz orange rocks! hahs.
ok..betta go liao lah!
*iloveyoulordmy heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.
haiyo..irritating. here i am using juz the keyboard..n ive learnt a new way..alt tab..all thanks to aaron..yay!! *clap hands*
aniway got back to skool..n doin fine..thankew god..
ani way wan to type a few verses..v applicable to me..
hebrews 12:1-2
" therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnessess, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perserverance the race marked out for us.
let us fix our eyes on jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."
v7: "endure hardship as discipline."
13:5-6
" keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
' Never will i leave you;
Never will i forsake you.'
so we say with confidence,
'the Lord is my helper; i will not be afraid.
what can man do to me?'"
yay..thankew God for blessing me..with so many blessings n i shuld be contented. forgive me. i love you. i will sing ur praise all the days of my life..n i will exalt ur name on high.
oh ya. i dono wad happend to my tagboard lah.so irritatin..huhs! got time den go do lah. today was quite ok..thank god.i woke up on time k!! finally..n met josephine..hehs..like dono how long den i meet her lah..sori dear girl..but i was early today!! :)hahas.*grins
n im gonna mk ic tmr..liew..overdue di lor..supp to mk in july i forgot..heh.so like me.-grunts
dis sat got eng oral..n thurs got chi test..how nice lor..wah liew.raas. nvm..i promise god i will study hard n do well..peng zhi*form teacher-chinese* say muz get least A2 for o'express chi..i will do it for god!!-determined. n my maths test haven take yet.scared sia..but i will study n do well! yes i will! but must study..=x..
lin..cant tutor me tmr..i shall learn n study on my own..haiyuh..tutor...ruuhs. god will teaach me how. if he wants me to do well..i will..hahs.
"a man reap what he sows"
so i shall study hard.
sirong is bcumin more n more irritatin lah..gghs..he so irritattin..feel like stranglin him.oh wells.love ur neighbour.
raas.
*contented
yay..n i wrote another song which sirong doesn understand..v deep k e meanin..aiyah..lazy type out.another time ba.
*satisfied..rest in ur armsmy heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.
liew..mum is so..hai..she hid the mouse..using keyboard now..wah liew..*scream* sob
the tears falling on the window pane
ni hui awhile ah? one hr two hr..awhile? got nothing to do..oni go online chat..nv do ur work..chinese do di? nothing else..yes yes..n i oso nv do maths..
yaya..say n say..im gonna juz tk it lah..dun yurn a deaf ear..ya ya..den wad..everyting tk in lah..im gonna..ruhs.wad..wad u wan me to do..
*confused//troubled// break away.
i try to be nice try to be good.
wad do u see.
a broken wing..try to fly.
back fm space.back to life.
spinnin round in my head.
i clever to say my sis clever to pinpoint her.
to be grateful for her? i try..n i will still try.
the rain continues to fall.
the shelter..i run to u..but i dun reach..
the thots in my head.
to throw them all away.
wad m i?
*break awaymy heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.
hello hello hello!!
im at lester's hse now..has.n im so noti. use their com.ohs bothers.and haiya.i noe shuldn be..ahhs.rachel kps feeding me stuff..n im growing fatter..pui~
-sulky face-
my voice..my beeaaauuuutifuil voice..hahs.n i lost it.found dat i haf another pimple.n alot alot of white heads.huh! need extra care..wad is dis lor. muz b e stupid last nite dat i din bathe.wa liew.huh!
ra haas.n my stomach pain now..irritating..kp on off pain den not pain..ahhs.*help me.
but im proud of myself dat i went up e rock climbing n i was e oni girl in my gp dat got e highest..i tink..super diff lah..got bump one den i culdn get up..my hands so pain..huh!
ok..i seriously hafta stop eating..so pukish now. my stomach is..kfhdjnmcx haiya.iritating..mum just saw me online agn..n she say me agn. *ow.pain. ruuhs=xxxxx
n im bored.dey playing games dats y i go online..coz i dowan maloo..e games al i lousy one.ohs ack.ow pain. stupid stomach.ok im sori god.
haiya.who are ur true frens? y do they seem so concern yet unconcern sumtimes? when u want or need them but they r irritated or dun bother to listen? n haf their own frens..raas. just ack.
hmm..auntie ivy say grateful..to my parents..tink im not.*cringes*pain] need to show more concern..dads sick..oh no..need to pray for him.*ow* raas.aiya.hahs.bryan just said dun chat..hahas..n he protested,hahahas..too bad..*ow ow ow* n my dear old woman is sick too..hai..*screams*
want to pull my stomach out.ow!!!
paaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnn]
=X
yayayayayayay!!!!!
im finally back fm national camp!! ra haas. n i reali missed every one..alot to say!!!
=pauses=
ok first..thanx to god!! reali lor..i flowed e day after my wet games were held! so i was saved fm not not trying e wet games..they rock man!! jetty jumping rocks!! thank god!! i din get bitten by any elaufhrmn oni v few mosquitos bite.. n din get stung by jelly fish..din fall down durin mt biking..din injure or aniting!! n i thank him soo sooo soooo much!! bahs.-looks to god smile-
and i missed everyone so badly..specially my dear old woman..n gini-my bc 2..n mummy/brudder n tutor's crap..ws so lonely lor i tell you..coz not much to tok to..n was irritated by sum girl who was screaming at every insect there..even ants! n wasn v enthu..cud lead but i din wan to. oh wells. nvm its over..ack. ohs.n there was dis guy.hahs. quite cute..was quite gentleman one..but had pimples (who cares) but..aiya..nv tok to him..blahs. n my gp..delta!!! rox lor..we were lead by scouts..hah..v funi.. n he reminded me of mummy/brudder n tutor..coz of e way he toked n acted..but haas..n i reali miss my home n bed soo sooo much! washot at pulau ubin lah..n alot of insects...grasshopper..ants..hornets..centipede..millipede..huh! n i braved them all..*cheers* aiya..but one ting i v lau kui..din do e high rope elements..coz i was scared.ey im sori i din face my fears..but heh.-look away- i scared lah.huh! n i din wanto maloo myself. aniway i taught them my dance stuff..slap dance lah.n yays.
im just so glad to be back. coz i reali was bored slack ack n sian there. raas.n tink i gained more weight now lah.urrhs. supp to lose one lor.
wad is dis! huh..nvm i ll start losin agn..n dere s an ant on my bowl.*shoosz* haiya..i must be more sociable..n din reali..ohs.*screams* huh i dun care!
haven bathe yet..yuck.still remb e last nite i din bathe coz e stupid ting no water..12+..n no water..n i stinked n so oily my face.cook the egg.stupid lah! den went hm yest..shioooooook! i bathed.den after dat went back to skool.huhs! im so gd..go back skool..hahas..to learn bio..fm mr chia.den guides meeting..liew til 7+ 8..cum hm study bio..n i slept lor..hahas..slept wif e lite on agn.hehs-sheepish- study 8 plus den slept round 10? haiya.aniway woke up at 630 n chiong all e way dis morn. not too bad.thank god lah.wun do v badly i hope.
yaya!! n i got darker! hahs.n learn alot of cheers..v nice n cool..got go fly kite one..whoo!! and i like dis one:
let them sing let them dance
give them 5c kick them out!
hahs..
super..hehs.
eating macoroni now..*shucks..im eating n eating n eating.n im full..raas.wad is dis.ack.n i ni i..i cant remb wad i want to say.ohs bothers.im hot.gotta go bathe soon..den go chrch.raas. ey still got alot one lor..but i forgot.hecks.hahs.n ate swensons jux now..super sheap lor..n fattening-grumps-parents went to meet the parents session..*shuckx.so dead.-rolls eyes- n nt wk got chi test.n sat el oral.-sighx- back to life. n my sacrifice was ringing in my head..investigate too..so nice..just remb got ying yong wen..hai.so sobering.n had diarrhoea juz now..so irritatin.my stomach pain.n *shucks.im falling sick..throat irritating mi n im blocked nose.raas. oh no!
raas. all on all.im just glad im back hm!=))))))my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.
haiyuhs
thot today goin out wif my cell..go canoing..now not di lor..wad is dis-grumps- n now im stuck hm wif my ppl..do n study bio agn later..raas.so boring..den dono whos gonna go for e nite ting..*whines*
yay!!!:))) stef juz calld me..meeting her at 2 at chrch..we gonna study..yep..hahas..im so hardworking.oh ya..calld huiyuan juz now..den i culdn find my poncho..raas.so ask her help me bring her extra..yay den i haf di..huh! im still feeling scared..hais.n funi ting we all now regretting sia..huh! i will definitely miss charlene n ginny!!! huhs. u ppl dun miss me k? hahas..im so missible. ure rite..so bhb.=shakes head=
hmm...trusting frens? wad else sia? how do u define a trustworthy person? wells..who doesn tell lies to u or gossip bhind ur back i guess..my dear fren..i will always b bhind u yea? n will b here if ya need me..yup..love ya lots..:)*grins* n our conspiracy in nc camp..hahas..lets work it out man!-lafs- hahas..n count on me man..
its so peaceful now..has..wait til mum come hm..liew..gonna nag n nag at me agn..ok..betta go off liao..but i still got alot to tok lor.*whines* raa.k fine byee..
=shrugs offmy heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.
poos.i scrubbed n washed my socks di.changed baby's hse to e new one..rachel s one..thankew girl!(though u wun see.raas.heck.)hahs.
realised that mum nowadays like to say me.why is she so irritating? hai..nwas standing bhind me readin wad i was doin..dono if she understand..n i ask her go away she say "y? zuo kui xing shi ah?" wah liew..wads her prob lah? super bs her lor.hai. my mum..please love her. she cares.ok love her.-grump
aniway..dono y i so scared..e camp on tues at pulau ubin..like so mani ppl..1000? all at pb..uniform gps n like got guys too..they all ahbeng lian one..i tink..v scared..huih! n mi n my 5 other frens r all diff gp..wad is dis lor..im in delta..n e camp gp colour is green..yuck! how horrible can dat be.oh wells. give thanks. eyyyy..reali v scared..i want my mummy noraa..huh! oh wells. dun b gay la. wah lao! rach is like purposely irritating me lor..smack me with e fly swatter..crazy..wah liew..-frowns- wads her prob...hais..aniway..hafta pack my tings..haven pack yet.raas. n bought my torch juz now..n wif batt. hope e camp will b fun..like 1000 ovr ppl..n all squeeze in one campsite? how can? raa..den dono slp in tent? shuld b since dey ask us bring groundsheet..n poncho n slping bag..toked to xue juz now...den all say cant bring slingbag..liew..den gotta put bagpack..haiya she kb again..wah liew..end up leh...wad lah..stop lor...*screams
just go away lah.dun bother me n disturb me..let me do as i please..so hapi..goin camp den wun b botherd by all e crap.yays.serious lah.hai..wan to send tutor sum songs but oh well..coz i listend to those songs juz now n felt more renewd..as in cried b4 god n feel much betta..til now when she is kbing..hai.ok..i will go now.
*frustrated
she finally tired of stiing bside me.
liew..hai..about to blog..n mum come out..hai.shes just so kb lah! wah lao! oihs.nvm.wad can i do rite? i do rite ting she not hapi..do wrong itng..lagi worse lah...wads dis lor? =sigh=
went for lunch wif them..den say sumting..tokin my usual way..den she sya i tok y lidat? -rolls eyes- waddya want me to do? tok in a v decent way? american slang ah? oh hello? ahs.ok stop complaining.
aniway..i tink god is just so cool..n im reali sori..n i wanna get back on e rite track..ps kk said e words dat reali hit mi..n i was so..woah~ like "banging n hiiting a brick wall getting all frustrated n stuff"..i was..so like me..n i tink i haf been dependign alot on myself..like im prayin n prayin e sme ting..nothin cumin out? hmms..e infilling of the holy spirit..wells..askd for like quite long di..n i got tired..hangin on to e thin thread of hope n love..i just wanna get back to u..ur ways are higher lord..n i will nv understand u..but i wan to do ur will..its just so trying..please help mi..
"the sacrifices are a broken n contrite heart..o lord u will not despise"
well..i give all i m to u..no matter how horrible or broken i may b..but..-sighs- please will u be more real? i noe u r there..but realil reali just do sumting..i dono..
"draw near to him n he will draw near to you."
wells..hai..i will..n i want to do everyting for u..please juz tk control of everyting..no matter wad it tks..tk control..if im not willing.juz force me..hai..
mum juz kb agn.ok lah.i noe.bye.
-drownmy heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.
raas.yay.feeling norm today. im weird lor i tell you.
hai.so shioiiok!! woke up 10 plus..so hapi..first time wake up so late sia..in like dono since june? hahas.
went shopping yest..so tiring i tell you..walk here walk there n i culdn find aniting lah! i was sooooooo frustrated. all e skirts n stuff dun suit me n im not skiny. huhZ! den finally we went heerens n -pauses-
hooray!! i found it! hahs..was looking at e stuff at 37 degress.n was convinced i ll just wear my jeans..yay den i found a dress!! it was 39.90..saw a grey n lite khakis one..den i went to try..almost din wan to lor..but was dgfrdnbmb so i went to try..e khakis one was too tight. haiya i noe i not thin k..den i tried e grey one..bit too small..it was L..ruuh.den i askd for XL..still abit tight but was much betta. n yay! i wanted a bigger size..but lene was noo.its nice di..den i listend to my fairygodmother cum personal assistant. n yay!! *smiles* i bought it.jane was ey..not bad..simple.
hip hip hoorays!! n i wore it today..to lynette n alvin's wedding. sigh.i must lose weight! -determined face- i must i must..still bit tight but hu cares. den i went hm.
hai..dis is a depressing part i shall not say..so tired n like..used to it? haiya. parents..i dun care? treat my hm like a hotel just cum hm slp n dun care? i do care!! i do..i do..but..okies nvm forget it. i noe u care..n i want to let u into my life but..nvm..no use sayin..i love you..but do u noe? i no time for u all..oso no time for myself..do i noe wads impt in my life? my priorities?
....i myself m not sure..but just to study n guides..wad else is there? m serving now wif all i m..do u see e effort? i dono..n i can oni just push it to one side.sigh.n cried agn..how irritating is that.ohs bother. lets not tink bout it animore.
-smiles. least now i noe im wad i m now..hahs..dono wad i tokin sia.:x..ey.baby squeakd dis morn..so weird..please dun fall sick or die..dun k..*burp* im full..but i wan to eat.huh!
my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.
ohs.
i feel so bc..lucky sia..e blog dat i thot was gone is still there! yays! praise e lord! hahas.*jumps n waves in e air
ani way..yar.imm waiting..huh! i dono for wad lah.raas. byees.
wah lao! wad is dis!! i typed like super long den e ting suddenly disappeared..*scream*
ok nvm..i write agn..
[help me]
i stand here..alone in space..faded in time..the rain falls arn me.drench my eyes..to watch e tears n rain fall..like a flame flickering in the rain.
i burn..i flicker..where has thou been?
i fall..i slip..dont let go.
im hanging onto you..dun lose me in dis maze.
to be a light for you.
to shine in the dark..drive away the fears..to light their paths.
help me.
i stand here..here in this crowd..blank faces arn me..e look in their eyes..lost..sorrow n helplessness..watch them drown in e flood..like a bird without wings.
yay! i wrote two songs lor..lieww..b4 e stupid com dono wad happen n my song n everyting else disappeaard.hai..
e lyrics r different..nvm.n aiya.
3 august.tuesday.
after handprints..10+..open e door.step into e hse.'y so late?' got puppet wad.'y end so late?wad time ur skool end?' 5/6+..i bring sec ones go buy shirt for ndp..den went church..'y every ting oso get involved? y guides agn? gettin worse n worse.' im like..wad e..like i can choose wheter or not i want to get involved in guides speciall ynow dat im sec 3? n im i/c? hello? den scold me. n was like..hai..nvminds.n i want to scream..we have 3 weeks..THREE WEEKS to finish all e props needed for blast from the past? wah liew..like so mani tings lah.but nvm i do it for god.
today performance rehearsal..not too bad..i scolded them coz e first was reali..hahs.yar..n i feel bad..but reali lor..hai..bought sweets for them..den bring them go get e shirt lor..hai..must encourage them tmr..e ndp tmr must raa them n encourage them..must do their best for guides.
-today-
yay..now i good mood.was so gfdn, just now..coz my sis lah..n was so complaining just now.hate myself.
dghfdnnvcm,bn..feel so lousy n blahs lor..everyting oso so sucky..oni my geog is gd..rest? faild my compre..chi test..wah liew..n today s chem test..hai.prayed last nite to god to help mi do well..at least pass lah.hai..n im like not readin? so irritated.n not doin e correct tings..like washing my panties.n my socks.n shoes.n im shouting at my sis.
liew..she super irritatin lah.i study yest den she come in my rm..i told her nicely twice (rare k..) to go out n dun disturb me..i got test.den she purposely had dat stupid look on her face dowan go out. i shouted at her. den dad just came out of the toilet. n scold me.wad is dis lor?i mean like..hai..dey nv hear mi tok nicely to her..den he say wad..dats y? i oni hear u shouting at her? do u even treat her as a sister?
im like..okies..if dats wad u tnk fine.sister?i try to be nice..bought hairclip for her..try to be nice..but she..ok..nvm.im just not trying hard enuf ..ok my fault.fine. got alot to say bout e tings she does to min mk me sound guilty but i shall stop.its not rite. SHUTTAP LAH U!-zip-
n..haiya.feel useless..like e seniors had to come n help us wif e ndp..so..-sigh- sec 3 di still cant handle it well..liew..n like my drill now sucks..so long nv do di..hai..n got work..maths..chi..chem..n chem is another new chap? wad e..omggm (lene n i created it)
-thot to cheer me up-
yay! we had another endearing moment today..had telepathy..finish guides she was telepathying mi to go canteen..[caron im in e canteen] hahs.but i sorta saw her walk in e direction lah.hahs. n we are goin orchard to shop tmr!! yayas..so exciting!! hahs but 50 bucks..liew..pathtic..nvm i shall be content..i shall be!!
haiya.tmr gotta go skool be ther 6 15 am!! ahhs. betta wakeup sia.pui~den after dat shall set off my adventure! must mk them excited tmr..do well..aiya din buy niting to raas them up..huh! im so forgetful..n i got no $..
eating raisins..*omggm..its gonna b 9..hai..do my work..tmr gotta hand up ying you wen..liew..den got oh ya. i said di..n sirong now sits in front of me. hes so irriating lah.says my blog is boring.huh! den dun read lor.i dun tink ani one does aniway..huh!
haiya.maths hmwk..bearings..go do later k..n my bio test nt sat gotta study..not nt wk cum fm national camp no time lor..*omggm
haiya.-blank-
dun complain!! its wrong!! im sori god..im like so no use..n lousy..like doin tings not properly..forgive me..n i kp complaining..i want to trust in u..but i just so..halbjlbdn.i dun care i will trust in you ok.OKAY!
-dono wad to say-
i miss you.but i must push my thots n focus on e impt tings. to force them putta my head. lene n gini will noe wad i tokin..xue too..hais.-nods-throw them intoo e well.
huhs.tired but oh wells.every one is. so no use saying.just ask god to refresh me lor.:))
n im online but not much is!!-frowns-huh!
raas.
-runs away to my hiding place-
im eating my dinner. -munch-
now sirong sits in front of me. n hes so iritating.
haish..
3 august.tuesday
it flooded yest..my heart. so iritating lah. came back at 10+..den straight away..mum n dad scold..why so late? 'puppet wad?'but y so late? wad time u finish skool i ask u? '5+ den took e sec ones to buy e shirt den go church..7 di' y guides everyday? y must u get involved? no one else izit? why u always lidat? so busybody..i goin to tok to ur teacher.
i was like wad e? not my fault rite? aiya.n they perform improve lah..but still not say v gd..but must jia you they..tink of way to boost them up! and..hai..i wanted to scream. e handprints blast fm e past oni 3..THREE WEEKS to finish it lah!! i m like..oh *shucks!hafta get all e props ready n done in 3 wks?
oh lene came up wif omggm..*screams..oh god! help me..n im so guilty..not been fasting n praying lor..oni personal prayer..n im not reading e word..hai..passion.for god? where has e flame gone to? why has it died out..or rather its flickering in the rain. candle in e rain.feel like writing another song..
i stand here..out in e rain. the raindrops fall arn me..n drench my eyes. watch e tear n rain flow. like a candle in e rain.
[help me]
i burn..i flicker..where has thou been?
the part of me just fades away..
im falling..slipping..dont let me go.
im hanging on..waitin for you to fill my cup.dont let go.
light the jar of oil..i want to light their paths..
shine into their homes..drive away their fears..
help me.
i stand here..see the crowd. the faces blank arn me..
lost..in doubt..feel the sorrow n emptiness.like a girl in e flood.
yay! i wrote another song..feel betta..-smiles- mum n dad out now for seminar..at hm wif rach.
liew..stupid lah she! dowan to eat..tok to her so nicely she dowan eat.*screams* so frustrated-
hai..m i such a lousy n horrible sista? she always nv listen to me one lor..den yest studyin for chem she come in my rm n disturb me..i ask her nicely to go out..twice..den she still had that stupid expression on her face..den i raise my voice dad scold me..say i oni shout at her oni.wah lao..wad is dis.-sighs-
so sucking at everyting now..today had e chem test..hai..
prayed last nite dat god wud help me to not fail..do well for dis test..im just..hai..just gotta trust..dowan to say scared or wad lah..missing nt wks maths..national camp..den now gotta study for bio..liew..shuttap lah! call dad oni tell him no need eat coz tongue pain? wad lame **** lah.always use them as wad one lor. CAN U STOP IT!! STOP COMPLAINING FOR GOODNESS SAKE?
ok..im sorry god.i ve been so lousy dis few days.rather wks..always makin u n every one else unhapi.i just cant help it..n i want to shit..but i cant..suffering fm constipation sia..haix..wads dis..ok stop.-zip-
sirong said dis blog is boring.wadeva lah. tink noone rds any way..so hu cares? huh! lene pinched me n kickd my chair today..she s irriatin n shes irritated..still love u dars. i ll always b ur punchin bag n pinching bag..*ow*
a thot to cheer me up-
yay!!! tmr goin orchard to shop! hip hip hoorays! so exciting lor!! n hafta hand in ying yong wen tmr..hu cares? haiya but for god i ll do it. aniways..gonna buy my outfit..yay! 50 bucks..hah kinda pathetic..but i shall be content.:)))))
haiya.wake up 5 tmr..guides at skool at 615 tmr..must raa them tmr...mk them excited n all rady to perform..please do well..i veri scared.nvm.'trust in god lah' dats wad lene said i remb.ohs. had another endearing moment today. she sent me telepathy to find her in e canteen..hahs.but sorta saw her walk in e direction..yays!
*scratches..htdfhfbvmmmmmmmmm,
eating apple.munch crunch.hahs.nothing much to say.
-blank- cant tink lah.wad else can i say..i missed you..n m forcing alll e thots outta my mind? ohs.just force n chase them away. focus on e more impt stuff.lene n gini will noe..xue too..uh huh!-nods head-
got so much hmwk..chi..maths..chem..new chap *omggm! haiya..i will bian do bian online..i pro k!
hahs.put baby (hamster)on my table yest while studyin n it peed on my notes..hahas..luckily abit n not stinky sia..so cuuuuuuuuteeeeee! eyes so big!ok i betta start work!
-runs offmy heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.
sighs.
today is a sucky day..sumone juz threw e whole job to mi..hai~
came back hm n got scolded immediately.
what is lor?
"y u want to get involved?y?not i want to say u"
wah liew..im sori lah..but i cant just ignore my life? my guides go bring them n collect my shirt..den went church..dat was 6+..den tried to study for chem test on thurs..den gabriel came n we discussed e ting..hai.3 wks to do finish all e props..? im wad? ok..muz do all for god..kok guan juz said today..do it out of love..for god n for his ppl..ok i will. den come hm..straight away tio meh di.."getiing worse n worse..reali noe!" "y they cannot buy themselves ah?" they r sec ones..im supp to guide them..later wrong ting i die..i lll b responsible lah. n i do so much..its like..ok..nvm..
sori lah..im like complaining the whole time..i just..ok..forget it..oni god understands..lene..sighs. i want go guitar..sori lah e ppl who read dis..i just tired.n sick of it.stayin back everyday.for what? for whom? for who?
for god
-sighs.
im doing dis so illegally lor..they come out c mi i die..
i still got alot of stuff but..haiya.bye lah
-day my soul drowned-my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.
yays!
tmr 's maths test is canceled!! ra haas.im so happy..postponed to nt week..hahas...wun be taking test..coz got national camp on 10-13..at pulau ubin..lene was screaming how she ll miss me..i ll miss you too...n ginny..aiya! bad ting is nt sat after i come back got bio test..wah liew..den sat n sun got cbtl training on ballet..ahhs.im so tired.nvm it's for god. n ifeel so nice today..bought a hair clip for rach..n shared fries wif her..but..
hai..she came into my rm while i havin tuition..disturb me dowan go out..wah liew..so nice for noting lor.wad is this.i cant take it..must ahve patince..
yaweh is my god
yes! i will still serve like a servant n do things wif equal weightage.n do all things that r pleasing unto e Lord..but sumtimes its so difficult..hai..but..
act on what is rite n pleasing to e Lord ur God
xue was teling me on forgiveness..n dat she prayed..im so hapi!! n shared more wif her..wells..haven said e sinner's prayer yet..but will lead her into it. god is real!!
ohs.forgot wad i wanted to say..oh ya!
JEREMY. PETER PAN IS SOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE!!
raas.he is super cute lah!*screams n squeals!oh man..he is another guy who rockx bsides orlando bloom n toby macguire..spiderman!! ahs.ok..i shall stop..*but hes sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute!!
woahs.tmr is rehearsal.hais.mum nagging to off e com..iritatin lah.oh.bought hamster food n e bath tingy..liew..i so xin tia..10.35 bucks lah. so ex..*sob* i no money lor..hai..nvm god provides..n i just hope it wun die.please dun.tk care of baby God.i trust in you..whoos.ignite e faith in mi..hahs.
haiya..tmr another long day..puppet after guides..hais.
your grace is sufficient for me.
yays.n tmr is fridays time table..
-eat macoroni.ohs.n i cant wait to go missions end of yr!! so exciting..hahs.lene..exiting huh? -lafs.
im supp to write down quotes..haiya..ok..here's one..
elijah's simple fervent prayer..n god did e impossible.
e sacrifices of god are a broken and contrite heart. O Lord u will not despise.
im just so thankful Lord..(sings)yay!ohs.i love this..
in our world of chronic busyness, pause for reflective prayer. call it quiet time, enjoy the audience of ONe.luxuriate in his lavish love.
ohs.thabkew aaron..noraa mumi..e songs reali reali rock! investigate is so nice..n e my glorious electric rox lor! i wan to learn how to play! serious lor..i will learn when i grow older n haf time..huh! i ll find my own guitar pro tutor..if god wants mi too..-please god
hahs.
my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.
yay!
i finshed my maths hmwk..almost..3 qn dono how to do..tutor!i dono how to do..raas. liew..my sis so irritatin lah..kp disturbing e hamster..aaarll..please dun die..dfmnn,cmvuhdlgj,mff=frowns=
haiya..guides..haiz..drainin mi away.
"everything you do do unto e Lord"
i shall bring u glory in wadeva i do lord..in everyting i do..least i ll try..hai..-tries to smile-
ok at least i haf sumting to cheer mi up..i finishd almost all my maths!! hahs.n tuition tmr at 7..gotta rush hm fm guides.
oh i workd out jux now..did sum exercises to burn those fats. juz remb dis sat is lynette n alvin's wedding..muz b slim man. *shuckx!* tink im getin fatter though.oh no! huh! nvm..liew..sirong juz reminded me lah.i faild my chi test miserably..42.5/100!! *screams*
blessed be ur name
LAH! i still give thanks i din fail so badly..hai.my mood kp switching lah.iritating.whoo..mood swings.pmsin huh? rahaas.
tutor tutor..scared my maths test..i noe i muz prac..ok later b4 i slp prac..den i rd my bible den slp.oh no..later i cant wk up lah..=pull my hair=
crazy.my sis ask mi go toilet wif her.at hm oso scared..crazy.-rolls eyes-
yay n congratulations stef..4 makin ur first accomplishment! hahs.im so crapin sia..charleneeeeeee my dear old woman..i miss youuuuuu..giniiiiiiiiiiii i miss u tooooooooooooooooooooo...
huh!
haiya.dono wad to say..guess im waitin for no one in particular..silly me..im so dreaming lah.i areadi told god i din wanna tink bout it but i still m..raas.
-irritated at myself-
char will noe wad im tinkin..i tink..haiya.
i will worship you Lord, only you Lord
i will bow down before you,only you Lord
tink dis song is so niceeeeee.
just you n me
iloveyou. O LORd my God.
and "deliver me" rocks! *runs to god.
i yearn for u..feel so far yet near fm you.y ah?
-sigh-
i m stoned.dono wad i tinkin now oso.rhhs.iritating feeling.tmr will b a slack day..oni in e morn..after skool no lor.
"jesus jesus how i love you"
=pull me through=
god has lead you into e storm..n is in with you in e boat.he has put you in it..n he will bring you safely across.will u trust him?
pruning will hurt..but will u let him do it? to make you into a better person.
*yawns
i miss you.
-crush the paper-
raas. ate at pizza hut.dumlets rock my socks! oh ya..yays! *throw ur hands up in e air* i washd my socks n shoes. haiya..i noe i supp to study..i finish den go.
thankew huey ying!! for giving mi a hamster*hugz* i haf named it baby!! coz alot of ppl calld it so..hahs. i seriously hope it wuun die..i ll cry lah! thx sean for his wonderful advice on e food. ive bcome more knowledgable.
yays.
oh ya ppl i m changing email to ardentwhees@hotmAIL.com so please do e necesary stuff..my parents lah.kp sayin me wad y call urself moron? ey.it holds my sec 1 n 2 endearing moments ok.fine. i shall be a gd daughter lah. but still dun see e need.-runaway
sighs.
change in e ndp performance again!! liew..change n change n change..im a chameleon.adapting to e changes. gay ah.*shux!* caught it fm timmo n esmond di.oh no! arhll.haiya..got alot of tings to say lah..but betta go study.so late di.
tues test will be so dead lah..
*drags offmy heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.
grace that blows all fear away.
Saturday, August 28, 2004
HAIYUH!i baked cookies myself.xue had to do notice board..so irritatin..everytime pung seh me huh..-grunts,.ohs nvm..so fun.but tiring.n i haven bathe..later gotta go ch..whoo!!!
ahhs!!! all i want is you..this song rocks!!!!
yay..the making of the cookiex are done!! and the last one made for mumi broke..so irritating..shuld haf put more butter so it wun stick to e tray. rahaas. open up the gates..feelin so mad now.heehee.
rooowwlll!! im a lion! rahaas.
gonna bathe soon..den i do my cell hmwk..the bk..den do maths den go church.bathe dat time mux wash my shoe..-grumps.wash n eat the shoe.got socks oso..yucK! they stink.n my shoes dono how mani mths nv wash.heehee.im revealing my dirty business.hahs.-grunt
oh.my sis is back.oh no!gonna mk noise.n disturb me..my dad juz calld me caron caron..n they bought food for me..n they brought back fish..so irritating.fish are kinda stupid..hah.hamsters rock! whoo..baby baby..where r u?-find baby.
haiyo.rach is irritating..put e plastic bag of nuts inside..n i told her not to open e cage!!sigh.y doesn she ever listen? okies..go bathe n wash everyting.
-runters off.
Friday, August 27, 2004
whoo hoos! i finally tok to gini online!! its such an endearing moment!! and gini is not db!! huh!! she is not!!!! she is my veri gd close n bc pal n budi! my bc 1..always will..huh! raas. im supp to blogg..but tokin to gini n tutor now..haha..so crap..lafs
haiyuh.everyone is offline.huhs.nvm.i shall tok to myself.hais..wad happen to lene? so quiet n like..dono..was bs..n now worried..haiyah.mayb pmsin..dun wanna disturb her...she oso scary leh.but i love her still.
yay!! bakin cookies tmr in e morn. hip hips! with xueli..hahs.my dear girl.my second baking experience wif my guides companion.juz msgd her ask her wad time n where she wan meet. huhs. chem test was ok..dono if i will do well..n god.-beams.i was nicer to my sis den usual today.thankew god.:)
last nite study n fell aslp wif e lite n agn....irritating.n woke up at 4+..one of my earliest sia..n i slept agn.so iritated lor.haiyuhs.xue faster reply.*yawns
im hot!! ok i shall go off nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
-scoots
Thursday, August 26, 2004
she stood there, solitary and still. her face resembled snow, so white so pure, a tinge of pink illuminating her cheeks. eyes, once warm and full of life, now resided in the dark depths, cold and frozen, as if all hope and dreams were lost forever they were silent and still, those blue eyes of hers, filled with sadness, and held a glazed dreamless stare. her hair seemed to flicker blond, gold, then white, streamed down her neck, her head held high and steady. she seemed to have turned to ice, her mouth set in a firm yet expressionless manner, her lips gentle. the ice queen, they called her, her beauty no one could express. the warmth and cheerfulness, her smile that once lit the darkness, had long faded away. lost in her world, where the sun din seem to shine...
whoos.that was a character description..hahs..lene n gini wrote bout guy..gini..her dream guy dat wud neva appear..hahass..and i was so bc today..did alot of goondu faces..hahas..i stuck my tongue out...and gini n lene n sirong n abi started lafin..lurvin too..den larre so irritating..he dun like me lor..mk me clean e window.i clean abit den go off liao..huh!n i kept screamin n mkin noises..hahas..went bit siao la.hahs.coz the twin effect the girl kept screaming..rahaas.e stickin of tongue reminded me of rach..so irritatin..n they lafed.and i gave gini a widddddeeee smile which made her laf.hahas..im so bc lor.and lene went mad..she kept singin n tokin nonsense..hahas..which kept makin me laf..hahas..n we screamed in diff pitches..low and high pitch.whoos!rahaas.
just ate my dinner..had beef..i become a cow n go moooooooooooooooooo..hees.no..ms lee is a cow..remb last yr made a song bout her the cow usin sarvivor rap..hahas..so goon la..-griins-
ok..im gonna haf excretion carried out.
-scoots away
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
whoos.my sister is soo irritating!
haiyuh! i need the patience man! how irritating is that.im eating ham jing peng which is like a curry puff.*shuckx.must stop eating..hai~
and got caught in the rain..was so wet.hmmph! din bring umbrella..auryhkjnbmnxciuhlwaa lah. tmr ss test..supp to be studying? haiya. later..im so slack.
and gini lene n i are gonna cut our hair on mon aftrnn.yay!! hahas..my hse opp..whee..but dono tues or mon..n we wrote a story.hahas..v crap sia..haiya..its in my bag.laxy to tk out.huhs!
found that mi n lene got alot of names..
she is my:
*fairy godmother
*personal assistant (PA)
*chee (i m ni..toget we r nichee!!)
*hong (im lau..toget we r lauhong!!)
*my dearest old woman
*lene
*roll-on knight comrade
whoooooooooooooooooooo~ hahs..roll-on knights..we played table tennis durin pe today..den e table brand is calld roll-on..hahas..so we calld ourselves e roll0-on knoigths! and we beat sirong n abi in our game!! rahaas. we r so pro..hahas.ure rite.we were so spastic n bc dat yuyang was lafin..n our ball flew out twice n had to go n pick it up. lene was crawlin on e grn alot of times to tk e ball-lafs..hehes..
yay!! n im so excited!! nt sat anniversary for ymc3 our bands r performing!! cradle of faith n flawed..-clap hands n jump 4 joy- gini n lene cumin..n i found out got dis guy in skoo dat looks like timmo..hhaas..
huh!-spastic face. betta go study..rachel is whining now..wish dad wud ask her shuddap! n punch her face.ok im sori god.
haiyuhs*uhsfjrl,mniluhrfnls
whoos.my sister is soo irritating!
haiyuh! i need the patience man! how irritating is that.im eating ham jing peng which is like a curry puff.*shuckx.must stop eating..hai~
and got caught in the rain..was so wet.hmmph! din bring umbrella..auryhkjnbmnxciuhlwaa lah. tmr ss test..supp to be studying? haiya. later..im so slack.
and gini lene n i are gonna cut our hair on mon aftrnn.yay!! hahas..my hse opp..whee..but dono tues or mon..n we wrote a story.hahas..v crap sia..haiya..its in my bag.laxy to tk out.huhs!
found that mi n lene got alot of names..
she is my:
*fairy godmother
*personal assistant (PA)
*chee (i m ni..toget we r nichee!!)
*hong (im lau..toget we r lauhong!!)
*my dearest old woman
*lene
*roll-on knight comrade
whoooooooooooooooooooo~ hahs..roll-on knights..we played table tennis durin pe today..den e table brand is calld roll-on..hahas..so we calld ourselves e roll0-on knoigths! and we beat sirong n abi in our game!! rahaas. we r so pro..hahas.ure rite.we were so spastic n bc dat yuyang was lafin..n our ball flew out twice n had to go n pick it up. lene was crawlin on e grn alot of times to tk e ball-lafs..hehes..
yay!! n im so excited!! nt sat anniversary for ymc3 our bands r performing!! cradle of faith n flawed..-clap hands n jump 4 joy- gini n lene cumin..n i found out got dis guy in skoo dat looks like timmo..hhaas..
huh!-spastic face. betta go study..rachel is whining now..wish dad wud ask her shuddap! n punch her face.ok im sori god.
haiyuhs*uhsfjrl,mniluhrfnls
Monday, August 23, 2004
*sniff
haiyah.im so lazy to type liao.
gonna update quite lag now..sad lah.
wells..typed my guides proposal so hahas..go online..quite fun to type lah..hahas.
sucks..this week got 3 tests..and all i suck one..ss on thurs, amths on fri and chem too. crazy lah.
huhs.im hungry..oh yest was fun..we got caught in the jam in chc basement..liew it was so hot n we started telling jokes..hahs..den we finally went in.so glad our church not so big..hahs..quite good la e service..wells..tongues..gods gift..shuldn focus so much on it though..well god pls grant me the spirit of discernment..
den mumi treated us..stef, gini n me to mos..yay..hahs.tutor had to pay himself..well then we took 30..wah shiok..e bus ride was so long..whoo!
hah.
ok i nothiing to say..just ok..feelin fine..cried yest..oso dono y..partly coz i read the story in max lucado "he chose the nails"..so touching..n listend to "superman" alot alot of times..so nice..:)
-blank face-
Sunday, August 22, 2004
oh.im at church..using the com here..been like so long.
hai aniway everytime i type a blog always v short time one lor. areadi 810..815 nd to go down.*shuckx
gor went brunei yest..sent him off at the airport..he left us at 12 plus..rach cried..i almost..lin had tears..mum too. im so irritated wif myself..he wan borrow discman fm me..den i give him..thot its aa batt..coz he din wan use my rechargable one..den told him aa can oso..when act oni e recharchable can.wah liew. he was irritated.n i m too.like why din i check it earlier? *roll eyes
n i dono..y do i bother bout ppl..when like dey dun seem to even care? like im so nice n everyting but deep down..im tryin to b nice but bs..god are u telin me sumting? lene told me to not even go with them..n iwas..i dono..i treasure frenship too much i guess..but im just glad i still haf my real buds wif me..gini charlene mummy..i reali thank god for u guys..n love u lots..hafg always been there for me..n i reali appreciate it.-beams
hai..n hui yuan is so stressed..yest went out for e 3 aim ting..wanto reach out to her..she said she understand but wasn ready e last time durin kaa ho naa ho..wellx.
*shuckx its 815..hai~ was feelin fine e other day..now my temper seems to b short..n ..raas. i love you lord jesus.
Friday, August 20, 2004
mum is getting on my nerves. i do the stuff she dowan let me go online..wad is dis.ask me to off.one more time i juz pull e thing.
Thursday, August 19, 2004
ruhhs. blog is gettin on my nerves..i type one super long one n it disappeared..
aniway..
*screams* i got breakout on my hands,arms,legs n ankles..wah liew..they r like small moquito bites but super itchy..and i was studyin chi test last nite n it was soo itchy.hai..more came out. xue says they r sand fly bites..stupid. sirong..is so iriitating..he says they r nice.sadist lah.n he got highest for lit.23/25..i thank god..i got 20!! so hapi..like my lit not gd one..n i did well for dis..thankew god..n sirong is known as sarong the spider..bcoz a spider fm the window sill where he leans his head on bit into his head. and he spins sarong..hahas..so crap.
haiyuhs.nt week so jkhfddddnx..got 3 test..n all i suck one..thurs is ss..structured sumore..liew..den fri got chem? crazy n amaths..two horrible *i suck most at* on the same day..how nice..n todays chi test i study like so hard..n they come out sec 2 stuff..n chp 30..when we were told to study 25,26,27..sucks lah..n im reali detestin n loathing mr choo.its like he doesn even care?-frustrated
but i reali thank god..n m quite stress free..at peace..so glad!!*smiles..but last nite was horrible..was itchin all over n slpet at 1+ 2..had nitemare..din slp well n my nose was blocked..hahs.thank god i still went mad today..hahas..the sarong story..and dai han is known as lady's fingers..hahas.
yay!! n today was my first attempt of baking cookies!! n i succeeded! yay..gonna bring n let everyone try..but quite little..huh! i improvised e recipe vcoz of lack of ingredients..hahs.im smart!-grins
n i wrote another song..calld drive me..liew just now type so nice lor..den gone..hai.cant type now.irritating.huhs! ohs.ya.tutor..ur help is urgently needed on sun..coz i told god i wun fail another test..dowan lor..n i cant afford.+X
raas.im hot.sweating sia..oh ya..got li jie wen da..betta go do now..huhs!
-scurries off
*:.you'd catch a falling star if i asked you
i l o v e y o u j e s u s
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
*gosh! its so late..mum slpin..dad watchin tv.
yay.studied finish chi..tmr test.scared..but im determind to well well for dis test.i noe i will..coz i haf studied..juz hope i dun forget everyyting. well..thank god i did ok for maths test..though not v well..18/30..still ok lah..nt test must try haredr..i will.god sees my effort.yay!
i love evrything about you
everyting u r..
u'd catch a falling star if i askd you*:.
i coudn live a single day without u
u hold me in ur arms
n once agn i noe dat im e only one for u
dis song by darlene rocks..i love you more n more each day.
no matter hot tryin life may be..i will do my best for u O LOrd..
hmmphs. ok its late..betta get gpin..later mum wake up i die di..
k muackx..love you jesus..
*:.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
liew..at first using peacefully now she tokin agn. hai~
becoz of dat stupid ting quarrel wif u..worth it or not worth it or not.
wah liew.shuddap lah.
"children obey ur parents for it pleases the Lord."
okok..i type dis den i go..
aniway had my emaths test today..hai..studied abit..but duno if will do well..may god pull me thru it. read "he chose the nails" by max lucado..n tink it is so wonderful. jesus bore my sin..e crown of thorns..*symbolizes our sin* and bore the spit..n died for me.he cud turn stone into bread, with a waze of his hand destroy the soldiers who spit at him. just a word n angels wud lift him fm the cross. yet he didn..n the most wonderful ting dat happened...
he did it for you.
dun u tink its so so so wonderful.u can just sit there n tink of it..the beauty n greatness of gods great love n mercy for us.i tink its so so..-awed-
n was strugglin maths n chem..but understand more now..*yays* n pushin myself on to do everytin for god.to do it all for him..coz he died for me..n he loves me.n..ya..gonna do well in everyting.i ll try.
gini told me hillsongs cumin her church dis sat n sun..i wan to go!! 2-4..got morn oso..but got church.ey..nobody like goin..all dono one..or cant..wad is dis lor..den dono if lene goin not..she like..i dono..went mad abit dis morn..den she bcame v solemn..hai~ n i tink im driftin away fm her..-sigh- dono if she got tuition..den she dowan go..raas.
studied for mi chi di.but not thorough..juz brief..least i studied..n did my maths..but dono some..askd stef di mrs wee tuition..askin mum now..hope can..but dono e place..haiyuh.n bit ex? well..
ohs.dad bought a car..mitsubishi lancer ix or smthg lidat..quite nice sia..suspension quite low ut doesn look low..comfy..n yay! got cd player.liew..dads proton..now one ah is like tape one lah.super antique..n bargain fm $25500 to $24600..yay..but still not enuf he borrow fm uncle george..oh wells.friday latest collect e car. yarr...n i made my i/c today..so horrible my foto..im so not fotogenic lah.wad is dis.huh!! -grumps
n i m a lil sick..but thank god..im not dat sick..hahs.n i clowly gettin back my voice..yay!! hahs.
raas..tmr another day of skool..n studyin..uh huh..n i will love u more jesus. he is so faithful..ah.wad a wonderful god!
n i ve designd e cell t shirt design..yay!! quite nice..ting dowan black..so i shall make it orange!! coz orange rocks! hahs.
ok..betta go liao lah!
*iloveyoulord
Monday, August 16, 2004
haiyo..irritating. here i am using juz the keyboard..n ive learnt a new way..alt tab..all thanks to aaron..yay!! *clap hands*
aniway got back to skool..n doin fine..thankew god..
ani way wan to type a few verses..v applicable to me..
hebrews 12:1-2
" therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnessess, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perserverance the race marked out for us.
let us fix our eyes on jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."
v7: "endure hardship as discipline."
13:5-6
" keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
' Never will i leave you;
Never will i forsake you.'
so we say with confidence,
'the Lord is my helper; i will not be afraid.
what can man do to me?'"
yay..thankew God for blessing me..with so many blessings n i shuld be contented. forgive me. i love you. i will sing ur praise all the days of my life..n i will exalt ur name on high.
oh ya. i dono wad happend to my tagboard lah.so irritatin..huhs! got time den go do lah. today was quite ok..thank god.i woke up on time k!! finally..n met josephine..hehs..like dono how long den i meet her lah..sori dear girl..but i was early today!! :)hahas.*grins
n im gonna mk ic tmr..liew..overdue di lor..supp to mk in july i forgot..heh.so like me.-grunts
dis sat got eng oral..n thurs got chi test..how nice lor..wah liew.raas. nvm..i promise god i will study hard n do well..peng zhi*form teacher-chinese* say muz get least A2 for o'express chi..i will do it for god!!-determined. n my maths test haven take yet.scared sia..but i will study n do well! yes i will! but must study..=x..
lin..cant tutor me tmr..i shall learn n study on my own..haiyuh..tutor...ruuhs. god will teaach me how. if he wants me to do well..i will..hahs.
"a man reap what he sows"
so i shall study hard.
sirong is bcumin more n more irritatin lah..gghs..he so irritattin..feel like stranglin him.oh wells.love ur neighbour.
raas.
*contented
yay..n i wrote another song which sirong doesn understand..v deep k e meanin..aiyah..lazy type out.another time ba.
*satisfied..rest in ur arms
Sunday, August 15, 2004
liew..mum is so..hai..she hid the mouse..using keyboard now..wah liew..*scream* sob
the tears falling on the window pane
ni hui awhile ah? one hr two hr..awhile? got nothing to do..oni go online chat..nv do ur work..chinese do di? nothing else..yes yes..n i oso nv do maths..
yaya..say n say..im gonna juz tk it lah..dun yurn a deaf ear..ya ya..den wad..everyting tk in lah..im gonna..ruhs.wad..wad u wan me to do..
*confused//troubled// break away.
i try to be nice try to be good.
wad do u see.
a broken wing..try to fly.
back fm space.back to life.
spinnin round in my head.
i clever to say my sis clever to pinpoint her.
to be grateful for her? i try..n i will still try.
the rain continues to fall.
the shelter..i run to u..but i dun reach..
the thots in my head.
to throw them all away.
wad m i?
*break away
Saturday, August 14, 2004
hello hello hello!!
im at lester's hse now..has.n im so noti. use their com.ohs bothers.and haiya.i noe shuldn be..ahhs.rachel kps feeding me stuff..n im growing fatter..pui~
-sulky face-
my voice..my beeaaauuuutifuil voice..hahs.n i lost it.found dat i haf another pimple.n alot alot of white heads.huh! need extra care..wad is dis lor. muz b e stupid last nite dat i din bathe.wa liew.huh!
ra haas.n my stomach pain now..irritating..kp on off pain den not pain..ahhs.*help me.
but im proud of myself dat i went up e rock climbing n i was e oni girl in my gp dat got e highest..i tink..super diff lah..got bump one den i culdn get up..my hands so pain..huh!
ok..i seriously hafta stop eating..so pukish now. my stomach is..kfhdjnmcx haiya.iritating..mum just saw me online agn..n she say me agn. *ow.pain. ruuhs=xxxxx
n im bored.dey playing games dats y i go online..coz i dowan maloo..e games al i lousy one.ohs ack.ow pain. stupid stomach.ok im sori god.
haiya.who are ur true frens? y do they seem so concern yet unconcern sumtimes? when u want or need them but they r irritated or dun bother to listen? n haf their own frens..raas. just ack.
hmm..auntie ivy say grateful..to my parents..tink im not.*cringes*pain] need to show more concern..dads sick..oh no..need to pray for him.*ow* raas.aiya.hahs.bryan just said dun chat..hahas..n he protested,hahahas..too bad..*ow ow ow* n my dear old woman is sick too..hai..*screams*
want to pull my stomach out.ow!!!
paaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnn]
=X
yayayayayayay!!!!!
im finally back fm national camp!! ra haas. n i reali missed every one..alot to say!!!
=pauses=
ok first..thanx to god!! reali lor..i flowed e day after my wet games were held! so i was saved fm not not trying e wet games..they rock man!! jetty jumping rocks!! thank god!! i din get bitten by any elaufhrmn oni v few mosquitos bite.. n din get stung by jelly fish..din fall down durin mt biking..din injure or aniting!! n i thank him soo sooo soooo much!! bahs.-looks to god smile-
and i missed everyone so badly..specially my dear old woman..n gini-my bc 2..n mummy/brudder n tutor's crap..ws so lonely lor i tell you..coz not much to tok to..n was irritated by sum girl who was screaming at every insect there..even ants! n wasn v enthu..cud lead but i din wan to. oh wells. nvm its over..ack. ohs.n there was dis guy.hahs. quite cute..was quite gentleman one..but had pimples (who cares) but..aiya..nv tok to him..blahs. n my gp..delta!!! rox lor..we were lead by scouts..hah..v funi.. n he reminded me of mummy/brudder n tutor..coz of e way he toked n acted..but haas..n i reali miss my home n bed soo sooo much! washot at pulau ubin lah..n alot of insects...grasshopper..ants..hornets..centipede..millipede..huh! n i braved them all..*cheers* aiya..but one ting i v lau kui..din do e high rope elements..coz i was scared.ey im sori i din face my fears..but heh.-look away- i scared lah.huh! n i din wanto maloo myself. aniway i taught them my dance stuff..slap dance lah.n yays.
im just so glad to be back. coz i reali was bored slack ack n sian there. raas.n tink i gained more weight now lah.urrhs. supp to lose one lor.
wad is dis! huh..nvm i ll start losin agn..n dere s an ant on my bowl.*shoosz* haiya..i must be more sociable..n din reali..ohs.*screams* huh i dun care!
haven bathe yet..yuck.still remb e last nite i din bathe coz e stupid ting no water..12+..n no water..n i stinked n so oily my face.cook the egg.stupid lah! den went hm yest..shioooooook! i bathed.den after dat went back to skool.huhs! im so gd..go back skool..hahas..to learn bio..fm mr chia.den guides meeting..liew til 7+ 8..cum hm study bio..n i slept lor..hahas..slept wif e lite on agn.hehs-sheepish- study 8 plus den slept round 10? haiya.aniway woke up at 630 n chiong all e way dis morn. not too bad.thank god lah.wun do v badly i hope.
yaya!! n i got darker! hahs.n learn alot of cheers..v nice n cool..got go fly kite one..whoo!! and i like dis one:
let them sing let them dance
give them 5c kick them out!
hahs..
super..hehs.
eating macoroni now..*shucks..im eating n eating n eating.n im full..raas.wad is dis.ack.n i ni i..i cant remb wad i want to say.ohs bothers.im hot.gotta go bathe soon..den go chrch.raas. ey still got alot one lor..but i forgot.hecks.hahs.n ate swensons jux now..super sheap lor..n fattening-grumps-parents went to meet the parents session..*shuckx.so dead.-rolls eyes- n nt wk got chi test.n sat el oral.-sighx- back to life. n my sacrifice was ringing in my head..investigate too..so nice..just remb got ying yong wen..hai.so sobering.n had diarrhoea juz now..so irritatin.my stomach pain.n *shucks.im falling sick..throat irritating mi n im blocked nose.raas. oh no!
raas. all on all.im just glad im back hm!=))))))
Monday, August 09, 2004
haiyuhs
thot today goin out wif my cell..go canoing..now not di lor..wad is dis-grumps- n now im stuck hm wif my ppl..do n study bio agn later..raas.so boring..den dono whos gonna go for e nite ting..*whines*
yay!!!:))) stef juz calld me..meeting her at 2 at chrch..we gonna study..yep..hahas..im so hardworking.oh ya..calld huiyuan juz now..den i culdn find my poncho..raas.so ask her help me bring her extra..yay den i haf di..huh! im still feeling scared..hais.n funi ting we all now regretting sia..huh! i will definitely miss charlene n ginny!!! huhs. u ppl dun miss me k? hahas..im so missible. ure rite..so bhb.=shakes head=
hmm...trusting frens? wad else sia? how do u define a trustworthy person? wells..who doesn tell lies to u or gossip bhind ur back i guess..my dear fren..i will always b bhind u yea? n will b here if ya need me..yup..love ya lots..:)*grins* n our conspiracy in nc camp..hahas..lets work it out man!-lafs- hahas..n count on me man..
its so peaceful now..has..wait til mum come hm..liew..gonna nag n nag at me agn..ok..betta go off liao..but i still got alot to tok lor.*whines* raa.k fine byee..
=shrugs off
Sunday, August 08, 2004
poos.i scrubbed n washed my socks di.changed baby's hse to e new one..rachel s one..thankew girl!(though u wun see.raas.heck.)hahs.
realised that mum nowadays like to say me.why is she so irritating? hai..nwas standing bhind me readin wad i was doin..dono if she understand..n i ask her go away she say "y? zuo kui xing shi ah?" wah liew..wads her prob lah? super bs her lor.hai. my mum..please love her. she cares.ok love her.-grump
aniway..dono y i so scared..e camp on tues at pulau ubin..like so mani ppl..1000? all at pb..uniform gps n like got guys too..they all ahbeng lian one..i tink..v scared..huih! n mi n my 5 other frens r all diff gp..wad is dis lor..im in delta..n e camp gp colour is green..yuck! how horrible can dat be.oh wells. give thanks. eyyyy..reali v scared..i want my mummy noraa..huh! oh wells. dun b gay la. wah lao! rach is like purposely irritating me lor..smack me with e fly swatter..crazy..wah liew..-frowns- wads her prob...hais..aniway..hafta pack my tings..haven pack yet.raas. n bought my torch juz now..n wif batt. hope e camp will b fun..like 1000 ovr ppl..n all squeeze in one campsite? how can? raa..den dono slp in tent? shuld b since dey ask us bring groundsheet..n poncho n slping bag..toked to xue juz now...den all say cant bring slingbag..liew..den gotta put bagpack..haiya she kb again..wah liew..end up leh...wad lah..stop lor...*screams
just go away lah.dun bother me n disturb me..let me do as i please..so hapi..goin camp den wun b botherd by all e crap.yays.serious lah.hai..wan to send tutor sum songs but oh well..coz i listend to those songs juz now n felt more renewd..as in cried b4 god n feel much betta..til now when she is kbing..hai.ok..i will go now.
*frustrated
she finally tired of stiing bside me.
liew..hai..about to blog..n mum come out..hai.shes just so kb lah! wah lao! oihs.nvm.wad can i do rite? i do rite ting she not hapi..do wrong itng..lagi worse lah...wads dis lor? =sigh=
went for lunch wif them..den say sumting..tokin my usual way..den she sya i tok y lidat? -rolls eyes- waddya want me to do? tok in a v decent way? american slang ah? oh hello? ahs.ok stop complaining.
aniway..i tink god is just so cool..n im reali sori..n i wanna get back on e rite track..ps kk said e words dat reali hit mi..n i was so..woah~ like "banging n hiiting a brick wall getting all frustrated n stuff"..i was..so like me..n i tink i haf been dependign alot on myself..like im prayin n prayin e sme ting..nothin cumin out? hmms..e infilling of the holy spirit..wells..askd for like quite long di..n i got tired..hangin on to e thin thread of hope n love..i just wanna get back to u..ur ways are higher lord..n i will nv understand u..but i wan to do ur will..its just so trying..please help mi..
"the sacrifices are a broken n contrite heart..o lord u will not despise"
well..i give all i m to u..no matter how horrible or broken i may b..but..-sighs- please will u be more real? i noe u r there..but realil reali just do sumting..i dono..
"draw near to him n he will draw near to you."
wells..hai..i will..n i want to do everyting for u..please juz tk control of everyting..no matter wad it tks..tk control..if im not willing.juz force me..hai..
mum juz kb agn.ok lah.i noe.bye.
-drown
Saturday, August 07, 2004
raas.yay.feeling norm today. im weird lor i tell you.
hai.so shioiiok!! woke up 10 plus..so hapi..first time wake up so late sia..in like dono since june? hahas.
went shopping yest..so tiring i tell you..walk here walk there n i culdn find aniting lah! i was sooooooo frustrated. all e skirts n stuff dun suit me n im not skiny. huhZ! den finally we went heerens n -pauses-
hooray!! i found it! hahs..was looking at e stuff at 37 degress.n was convinced i ll just wear my jeans..yay den i found a dress!! it was 39.90..saw a grey n lite khakis one..den i went to try..almost din wan to lor..but was dgfrdnbmb so i went to try..e khakis one was too tight. haiya i noe i not thin k..den i tried e grey one..bit too small..it was L..ruuh.den i askd for XL..still abit tight but was much betta. n yay! i wanted a bigger size..but lene was noo.its nice di..den i listend to my fairygodmother cum personal assistant. n yay!! *smiles* i bought it.jane was ey..not bad..simple.
hip hip hoorays!! n i wore it today..to lynette n alvin's wedding. sigh.i must lose weight! -determined face- i must i must..still bit tight but hu cares. den i went hm.
hai..dis is a depressing part i shall not say..so tired n like..used to it? haiya. parents..i dun care? treat my hm like a hotel just cum hm slp n dun care? i do care!! i do..i do..but..okies nvm forget it. i noe u care..n i want to let u into my life but..nvm..no use sayin..i love you..but do u noe? i no time for u all..oso no time for myself..do i noe wads impt in my life? my priorities?
....i myself m not sure..but just to study n guides..wad else is there? m serving now wif all i m..do u see e effort? i dono..n i can oni just push it to one side.sigh.n cried agn..how irritating is that.ohs bother. lets not tink bout it animore.
-smiles. least now i noe im wad i m now..hahs..dono wad i tokin sia.:x..ey.baby squeakd dis morn..so weird..please dun fall sick or die..dun k..*burp* im full..but i wan to eat.huh!
Thursday, August 05, 2004
ohs.
i feel so bc..lucky sia..e blog dat i thot was gone is still there! yays! praise e lord! hahas.*jumps n waves in e air
ani way..yar.imm waiting..huh! i dono for wad lah.raas. byees.
wah lao! wad is dis!! i typed like super long den e ting suddenly disappeared..*scream*
ok nvm..i write agn..
[help me]
i stand here..alone in space..faded in time..the rain falls arn me.drench my eyes..to watch e tears n rain fall..like a flame flickering in the rain.
i burn..i flicker..where has thou been?
i fall..i slip..dont let go.
im hanging onto you..dun lose me in dis maze.
to be a light for you.
to shine in the dark..drive away the fears..to light their paths.
help me.
i stand here..here in this crowd..blank faces arn me..e look in their eyes..lost..sorrow n helplessness..watch them drown in e flood..like a bird without wings.
yay! i wrote two songs lor..lieww..b4 e stupid com dono wad happen n my song n everyting else disappeaard.hai..
e lyrics r different..nvm.n aiya.
3 august.tuesday.
after handprints..10+..open e door.step into e hse.'y so late?' got puppet wad.'y end so late?wad time ur skool end?' 5/6+..i bring sec ones go buy shirt for ndp..den went church..'y every ting oso get involved? y guides agn? gettin worse n worse.' im like..wad e..like i can choose wheter or not i want to get involved in guides speciall ynow dat im sec 3? n im i/c? hello? den scold me. n was like..hai..nvminds.n i want to scream..we have 3 weeks..THREE WEEKS to finish all e props needed for blast from the past? wah liew..like so mani tings lah.but nvm i do it for god.
today performance rehearsal..not too bad..i scolded them coz e first was reali..hahs.yar..n i feel bad..but reali lor..hai..bought sweets for them..den bring them go get e shirt lor..hai..must encourage them tmr..e ndp tmr must raa them n encourage them..must do their best for guides.
-today-
yay..now i good mood.was so gfdn, just now..coz my sis lah..n was so complaining just now.hate myself.
dghfdnnvcm,bn..feel so lousy n blahs lor..everyting oso so sucky..oni my geog is gd..rest? faild my compre..chi test..wah liew..n today s chem test..hai.prayed last nite to god to help mi do well..at least pass lah.hai..n im like not readin? so irritated.n not doin e correct tings..like washing my panties.n my socks.n shoes.n im shouting at my sis.
liew..she super irritatin lah.i study yest den she come in my rm..i told her nicely twice (rare k..) to go out n dun disturb me..i got test.den she purposely had dat stupid look on her face dowan go out. i shouted at her. den dad just came out of the toilet. n scold me.wad is dis lor?i mean like..hai..dey nv hear mi tok nicely to her..den he say wad..dats y? i oni hear u shouting at her? do u even treat her as a sister?
im like..okies..if dats wad u tnk fine.sister?i try to be nice..bought hairclip for her..try to be nice..but she..ok..nvm.im just not trying hard enuf ..ok my fault.fine. got alot to say bout e tings she does to min mk me sound guilty but i shall stop.its not rite. SHUTTAP LAH U!-zip-
n..haiya.feel useless..like e seniors had to come n help us wif e ndp..so..-sigh- sec 3 di still cant handle it well..liew..n like my drill now sucks..so long nv do di..hai..n got work..maths..chi..chem..n chem is another new chap? wad e..omggm (lene n i created it)
-thot to cheer me up-
yay! we had another endearing moment today..had telepathy..finish guides she was telepathying mi to go canteen..[caron im in e canteen] hahs.but i sorta saw her walk in e direction lah.hahs. n we are goin orchard to shop tmr!! yayas..so exciting!! hahs but 50 bucks..liew..pathtic..nvm i shall be content..i shall be!!
haiya.tmr gotta go skool be ther 6 15 am!! ahhs. betta wakeup sia.pui~den after dat shall set off my adventure! must mk them excited tmr..do well..aiya din buy niting to raas them up..huh! im so forgetful..n i got no $..
eating raisins..*omggm..its gonna b 9..hai..do my work..tmr gotta hand up ying you wen..liew..den got oh ya. i said di..n sirong now sits in front of me. hes so irriating lah.says my blog is boring.huh! den dun read lor.i dun tink ani one does aniway..huh!
haiya.maths hmwk..bearings..go do later k..n my bio test nt sat gotta study..not nt wk cum fm national camp no time lor..*omggm
haiya.-blank-
dun complain!! its wrong!! im sori god..im like so no use..n lousy..like doin tings not properly..forgive me..n i kp complaining..i want to trust in u..but i just so..halbjlbdn.i dun care i will trust in you ok.OKAY!
-dono wad to say-
i miss you.but i must push my thots n focus on e impt tings. to force them putta my head. lene n gini will noe wad i tokin..xue too..hais.-nods-throw them intoo e well.
huhs.tired but oh wells.every one is. so no use saying.just ask god to refresh me lor.:))
n im online but not much is!!-frowns-huh!
raas.
-runs away to my hiding place-
now sirong sits in front of me. n hes so iritating.
haish..
3 august.tuesday
it flooded yest..my heart. so iritating lah. came back at 10+..den straight away..mum n dad scold..why so late? 'puppet wad?'but y so late? wad time u finish skool i ask u? '5+ den took e sec ones to buy e shirt den go church..7 di' y guides everyday? y must u get involved? no one else izit? why u always lidat? so busybody..i goin to tok to ur teacher.
i was like wad e? not my fault rite? aiya.n they perform improve lah..but still not say v gd..but must jia you they..tink of way to boost them up! and..hai..i wanted to scream. e handprints blast fm e past oni 3..THREE WEEKS to finish it lah!! i m like..oh *shucks!hafta get all e props ready n done in 3 wks?
oh lene came up wif omggm..*screams..oh god! help me..n im so guilty..not been fasting n praying lor..oni personal prayer..n im not reading e word..hai..passion.for god? where has e flame gone to? why has it died out..or rather its flickering in the rain. candle in e rain.feel like writing another song..
i stand here..out in e rain. the raindrops fall arn me..n drench my eyes. watch e tear n rain flow. like a candle in e rain.
[help me]
i burn..i flicker..where has thou been?
the part of me just fades away..
im falling..slipping..dont let me go.
im hanging on..waitin for you to fill my cup.dont let go.
light the jar of oil..i want to light their paths..
shine into their homes..drive away their fears..
help me.
i stand here..see the crowd. the faces blank arn me..
lost..in doubt..feel the sorrow n emptiness.like a girl in e flood.
yay! i wrote another song..feel betta..-smiles- mum n dad out now for seminar..at hm wif rach.
liew..stupid lah she! dowan to eat..tok to her so nicely she dowan eat.*screams* so frustrated-
hai..m i such a lousy n horrible sista? she always nv listen to me one lor..den yest studyin for chem she come in my rm n disturb me..i ask her nicely to go out..twice..den she still had that stupid expression on her face..den i raise my voice dad scold me..say i oni shout at her oni.wah lao..wad is dis.-sighs-
so sucking at everyting now..today had e chem test..hai..
prayed last nite dat god wud help me to not fail..do well for dis test..im just..hai..just gotta trust..dowan to say scared or wad lah..missing nt wks maths..national camp..den now gotta study for bio..liew..shuttap lah! call dad oni tell him no need eat coz tongue pain? wad lame **** lah.always use them as wad one lor. CAN U STOP IT!! STOP COMPLAINING FOR GOODNESS SAKE?
ok..im sorry god.i ve been so lousy dis few days.rather wks..always makin u n every one else unhapi.i just cant help it..n i want to shit..but i cant..suffering fm constipation sia..haix..wads dis..ok stop.-zip-
sirong said dis blog is boring.wadeva lah. tink noone rds any way..so hu cares? huh! lene pinched me n kickd my chair today..she s irriatin n shes irritated..still love u dars. i ll always b ur punchin bag n pinching bag..*ow*
a thot to cheer me up-
yay!!! tmr goin orchard to shop! hip hip hoorays! so exciting lor!! n hafta hand in ying yong wen tmr..hu cares? haiya but for god i ll do it. aniways..gonna buy my outfit..yay! 50 bucks..hah kinda pathetic..but i shall be content.:)))))
haiya.wake up 5 tmr..guides at skool at 615 tmr..must raa them tmr...mk them excited n all rady to perform..please do well..i veri scared.nvm.'trust in god lah' dats wad lene said i remb.ohs. had another endearing moment today. she sent me telepathy to find her in e canteen..hahs.but sorta saw her walk in e direction..yays!
*scratches..htdfhfbvmmmmmmmmm,
eating apple.munch crunch.hahs.nothing much to say.
-blank- cant tink lah.wad else can i say..i missed you..n m forcing alll e thots outta my mind? ohs.just force n chase them away. focus on e more impt stuff.lene n gini will noe..xue too..uh huh!-nods head-
got so much hmwk..chi..maths..chem..new chap *omggm! haiya..i will bian do bian online..i pro k!
hahs.put baby (hamster)on my table yest while studyin n it peed on my notes..hahas..luckily abit n not stinky sia..so cuuuuuuuuteeeeee! eyes so big!ok i betta start work!
-runs off
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
sighs.
today is a sucky day..sumone juz threw e whole job to mi..hai~
came back hm n got scolded immediately.
what is lor?
"y u want to get involved?y?not i want to say u"
wah liew..im sori lah..but i cant just ignore my life? my guides go bring them n collect my shirt..den went church..dat was 6+..den tried to study for chem test on thurs..den gabriel came n we discussed e ting..hai.3 wks to do finish all e props..? im wad? ok..muz do all for god..kok guan juz said today..do it out of love..for god n for his ppl..ok i will. den come hm..straight away tio meh di.."getiing worse n worse..reali noe!" "y they cannot buy themselves ah?" they r sec ones..im supp to guide them..later wrong ting i die..i lll b responsible lah. n i do so much..its like..ok..nvm..
sori lah..im like complaining the whole time..i just..ok..forget it..oni god understands..lene..sighs. i want go guitar..sori lah e ppl who read dis..i just tired.n sick of it.stayin back everyday.for what? for whom? for who?
for god
-sighs.
im doing dis so illegally lor..they come out c mi i die..
i still got alot of stuff but..haiya.bye lah
-day my soul drowned-
Monday, August 02, 2004
yays!
tmr 's maths test is canceled!! ra haas.im so happy..postponed to nt week..hahas...wun be taking test..coz got national camp on 10-13..at pulau ubin..lene was screaming how she ll miss me..i ll miss you too...n ginny..aiya! bad ting is nt sat after i come back got bio test..wah liew..den sat n sun got cbtl training on ballet..ahhs.im so tired.nvm it's for god. n ifeel so nice today..bought a hair clip for rach..n shared fries wif her..but..
hai..she came into my rm while i havin tuition..disturb me dowan go out..wah liew..so nice for noting lor.wad is this.i cant take it..must ahve patince..
yaweh is my god
yes! i will still serve like a servant n do things wif equal weightage.n do all things that r pleasing unto e Lord..but sumtimes its so difficult..hai..but..
act on what is rite n pleasing to e Lord ur God
xue was teling me on forgiveness..n dat she prayed..im so hapi!! n shared more wif her..wells..haven said e sinner's prayer yet..but will lead her into it. god is real!!
ohs.forgot wad i wanted to say..oh ya!
JEREMY. PETER PAN IS SOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE!!
raas.he is super cute lah!*screams n squeals!oh man..he is another guy who rockx bsides orlando bloom n toby macguire..spiderman!! ahs.ok..i shall stop..*but hes sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute!!
woahs.tmr is rehearsal.hais.mum nagging to off e com..iritatin lah.oh.bought hamster food n e bath tingy..liew..i so xin tia..10.35 bucks lah. so ex..*sob* i no money lor..hai..nvm god provides..n i just hope it wun die.please dun.tk care of baby God.i trust in you..whoos.ignite e faith in mi..hahs.
haiya..tmr another long day..puppet after guides..hais.
your grace is sufficient for me.
yays.n tmr is fridays time table..
-eat macoroni.ohs.n i cant wait to go missions end of yr!! so exciting..hahs.lene..exiting huh? -lafs.
im supp to write down quotes..haiya..ok..here's one..
elijah's simple fervent prayer..n god did e impossible.
e sacrifices of god are a broken and contrite heart. O Lord u will not despise.
im just so thankful Lord..(sings)yay!ohs.i love this..
in our world of chronic busyness, pause for reflective prayer. call it quiet time, enjoy the audience of ONe.luxuriate in his lavish love.
ohs.thabkew aaron..noraa mumi..e songs reali reali rock! investigate is so nice..n e my glorious electric rox lor! i wan to learn how to play! serious lor..i will learn when i grow older n haf time..huh! i ll find my own guitar pro tutor..if god wants mi too..-please god
hahs.
Sunday, August 01, 2004
yay!
i finshed my maths hmwk..almost..3 qn dono how to do..tutor!i dono how to do..raas. liew..my sis so irritatin lah..kp disturbing e hamster..aaarll..please dun die..dfmnn,cmvuhdlgj,mff=frowns=
haiya..guides..haiz..drainin mi away.
"everything you do do unto e Lord"
i shall bring u glory in wadeva i do lord..in everyting i do..least i ll try..hai..-tries to smile-
ok at least i haf sumting to cheer mi up..i finishd almost all my maths!! hahs.n tuition tmr at 7..gotta rush hm fm guides.
oh i workd out jux now..did sum exercises to burn those fats. juz remb dis sat is lynette n alvin's wedding..muz b slim man. *shuckx!* tink im getin fatter though.oh no! huh! nvm..liew..sirong juz reminded me lah.i faild my chi test miserably..42.5/100!! *screams*
blessed be ur name
LAH! i still give thanks i din fail so badly..hai.my mood kp switching lah.iritating.whoo..mood swings.pmsin huh? rahaas.
tutor tutor..scared my maths test..i noe i muz prac..ok later b4 i slp prac..den i rd my bible den slp.oh no..later i cant wk up lah..=pull my hair=
crazy.my sis ask mi go toilet wif her.at hm oso scared..crazy.-rolls eyes-
yay n congratulations stef..4 makin ur first accomplishment! hahs.im so crapin sia..charleneeeeeee my dear old woman..i miss youuuuuu..giniiiiiiiiiiii i miss u tooooooooooooooooooooo...
huh!
haiya.dono wad to say..guess im waitin for no one in particular..silly me..im so dreaming lah.i areadi told god i din wanna tink bout it but i still m..raas.
-irritated at myself-
char will noe wad im tinkin..i tink..haiya.
i will worship you Lord, only you Lord
i will bow down before you,only you Lord
tink dis song is so niceeeeee.
just you n me
iloveyou. O LORd my God.
and "deliver me" rocks! *runs to god.
i yearn for u..feel so far yet near fm you.y ah?
-sigh-
i m stoned.dono wad i tinkin now oso.rhhs.iritating feeling.tmr will b a slack day..oni in e morn..after skool no lor.
"jesus jesus how i love you"
=pull me through=
god has lead you into e storm..n is in with you in e boat.he has put you in it..n he will bring you safely across.will u trust him?
pruning will hurt..but will u let him do it? to make you into a better person.
*yawns
i miss you.
-crush the paper-
raas. ate at pizza hut.dumlets rock my socks! oh ya..yays! *throw ur hands up in e air* i washd my socks n shoes. haiya..i noe i supp to study..i finish den go.
thankew huey ying!! for giving mi a hamster*hugz* i haf named it baby!! coz alot of ppl calld it so..hahs. i seriously hope it wuun die..i ll cry lah! thx sean for his wonderful advice on e food. ive bcome more knowledgable.
yays.
oh ya ppl i m changing email to ardentwhees@hotmAIL.com so please do e necesary stuff..my parents lah.kp sayin me wad y call urself moron? ey.it holds my sec 1 n 2 endearing moments ok.fine. i shall be a gd daughter lah. but still dun see e need.-runaway
sighs.
change in e ndp performance again!! liew..change n change n change..im a chameleon.adapting to e changes. gay ah.*shux!* caught it fm timmo n esmond di.oh no! arhll.haiya..got alot of tings to say lah..but betta go study.so late di.
tues test will be so dead lah..
*drags off
Rescued my soul, my Stronghold
lifts me from shame
yak.
lifts me from shame
shout it out (:
-
yak.
Forgiveness, security, power and love
grace that blows all fear away
blogger skins friendster hoops and yoyo getty
Nursing blog aaron bryan char's shop claudia daniel danitza debbie debkoh elizaBIRD esmond huey's photoblog huiyuan gabriel ong jade jared jingmin jolie jonkk jonT ian lynn liting joy melody michelle philDA rachel serminn sindhu stef sue ean timmo ting wanxin wieky xin en
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designer DancingSheep
grace that blows all fear away
all the brothers and sisters
-
blogger skins friendster hoops and yoyo getty
Nursing blog aaron bryan char's shop claudia daniel danitza debbie debkoh elizaBIRD esmond huey's photoblog huiyuan gabriel ong jade jared jingmin jolie jonkk jonT ian lynn liting joy melody michelle philDA rachel serminn sindhu stef sue ean timmo ting wanxin wieky xin en
of old.
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credits.
-
designer DancingSheep
He is the soon and coming King.
lover of my soul.
God's HEHES
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you could ever have.
my brother and estherr(:
darling jimson.
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when we were so young.
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wonderful people
-
God's HEHES
best buddies
you could ever have.
my brother and estherr(:
darling jimson.
dearest children.
when we were so young.
